You know you wanna know…

So here we are, 19 weeks in! Almost half way! WOOT WOOT

You know what that means…… yep.. you have to keep reading to find out the sex of the baby. #Sorry #notSorry 

This pregnancy has been, by far, one of the hardest things I have done yet.

Seriously. Growing a baby is hard enough on the body, the amount of changes you go through in under a year, is nothing short of a miracle, but also a pain in the ASS. 

Some nights, I wake up ( HAHAHA some nights. let me rephrase that)

On the occasional night, after I have woken up every hour to walk into walls, and somehow make my way to the bathroom, to pee for the 9th time, and somehow … land on the toilet….. other nights feeling like i could puke. For 0 reason. The wave of ” omg” sweeps over my insides. Then it leaves. Like it never happened. It’s the strangest thing.

My appetite came back. So that is a huge bonus. No huge cravings. I still love a good apple thou, almost daily. And twix bars. Yea those are my friends right now.

Timmies came out with a vanilla chia drink… it was SOO GOOD. Then they took it away as fast as it came out. So im a  little peeved over that. I have not been drinking tea since I had transfer. Which is insane for me. The odd sip here and there.. hoping my desire comes flooding back.. but nope. I drank a tea the other day, so maybe …. French vanilla goes down ok thou. And water. OMG water.Give me all the water. I must drink double my weight in oz in water a day. COLD- ICE -WATER. mmmmmmmmmm……

Anyways, What is new.

Well we are down to less than a month that my lil surro family visits! So I am over the moon about that.  And I am planning on taking a trip to France for the very first time ever! So that’s just a weeeee bit exciting too!

At 16 weeks I was still feeling crappy. My skin is so dry and breaking out like im 13 again. It is terrible. ( it actually is STILL not great.) My hair is just dull and flat, I have no life.

That second trimester glow is the furthest thing from happening right now. Brutal. And don’t even get me started on shitting. Legit. I can. not. poop. Over share? don’t care.

I have drank prune juice, mixed crap in my drinks, watched my fiber intake, no movey-movey. Guys… i ate a plate of veggies and vomited HARD. It is like my food had nowhere to go, but out. BRUTAL. 

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What? Sometimes I am short on ideas. . . .

 

 

Anyways, CFC sends out these bellytunes. So the Dad’s – to-be loaded up some music, and I just sometimes sit and drink a hot beverage and let baby listen to some tunes. I mean… I dunno if baby likes it, but it’s another language some of it , so I just wish baby bean well in enjoying it. Baby hears my music and voice all day .. lol

 

Then comes the time I try to take off the buds off my belly….

That is some sticky ass shit! layer of belly skin gone…. BYEEEEE 

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So here we are. 19 weeks. I dribble all day long. My pelvic floor was on point after Baby M was born… I was working out daily, things were T I G H T.  But now? hahahahah.. hard nope. Sneeze = tinkle . Cough = tinkle. Get up = tinkle. I just basically tinkle all day long. Its now what I do.  I have come to terms with it.

So anyways, Ultra sound day was yesterday.

1 whole hour later. FML. Longest ultra sound I have ever had.

It was the ” have to measure every organ ” ultrasound.

Good news, The tech can not tell you everything , but I have noticed they are getting more vocal. So hey, baby has 2 eye holes, and stomach, and i seen legs, and feet, and arms and hands, and a head, and nose and lips oooo and even a kidney i think… Good stuff.

I will know the details at my midwife apt in 2 weeks.

 

So what is the first thing the tech says?

” do you wanna know the GENDER of the baby? “

Me. pause. “Nope. I’d love to know the sex thou! “

Yup. I am that annoying person. #sorryNotSorry 

So. This ultrasound of mine. This baby was so active, I was laying on my back, my side, my other side, Baby was flipping all over… Just did not wanna give up measurements.

Longest ultrasound ever.

I even emptied my bladder to try to move baby. This baby was not only closed legged… but also CROSSED. Baby was not about to give up the sex. Privacy i guess… But the way this pregnancy has been, I kinda snickers and was like ” this is almost typical ” Almost expected…. Why would this go as planned. lol Baby is DRAMA. lol

I am re-naming baby.

Baby Drama Bean. or Bean-Drama. 

This baby was SO stubborn , the tech legit almost gave up when …

” OMG” …. there. For 1 SECOND the legs opened and closed again. It happened THAT fast.

Baby was like .. ” FINE. ” Boop. “Thats all you get” MUHAHAHAHAHAHH

So , in reality we *think* we know the sex of the baby. But … ultrasound, can not be 100% with a 1 second glimpse. Ugh. Baby. I wish your dad’s to be all the luck in the world. You are really setting the tone here. lol

So now without any more wait….

 

Baby had 3 lines between her legs! I guess that mean’s….

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So a little princess drama bean is baking in my belly.

Peeps, I legit thought … a Penis was growing in my belly. This pregnancy has been a jerk. I’m like … My own son was a hard ass pregnancy… this has GOT to be another boy. LOL

WRONG.

So. Dad’s are excited. Of course they are! It’s a baby! Spreading the news far and wide. ❤

So that is were were are at in the journey. I am hoping as time goes on, I feel that glow. But for now, I would like to just get some solid sleep.

 

Till next time, feel free to follow me over on IG https://www.instagram.com/just_the_stork_/

❤ court the stork.

 

 

It’s been a minute

So, We have officially left  trimester 1 in the past.

It was a good battle.

The sickness, the all day ” I am gonna puke” ( but never really …. puke) the exhaustion, the insomnia, the lack of desire to eat… anything, headaches, bloat, gas… I swear to gawd every known pregnancy symptom i was full on smacked with it.

I still think its pay back for the first journey going so smooth.

We are officially creeping into week 15.

I would like to say this has gone fast.. but that would be a full on FAT lie.

And what is with this crazy belly showing so FAST!

” OMG you look way further along” 

” WOW, are you sure you are only 13 weeks?” 

seriously. Way to make me feel like a whale people. It’s so appreciated.

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My desire to do anything has been non existent. I have never been so beat down by growing a human before. I mean, my own son was a dink of a child to grow, but not to this extent lol.

Right now I am dealing with headaches, bloat, gas, belly pain, round ligament pain, insomnia is still in high gear. The other night, I was up … on the couch just rocking… my belly was so bloated with gas, i was wide awake.. it sucked. The only blessing was it was a weekend. Sadly this was not a one night occurence.. and it striked AGAIN.  So here i am, Monday , pounding headache, bloat, feeling like crap and so beyond exhausted. They should give you 9 months off to just … grow a human. we are in 2019. Pregnancy sometimes kicks your damn ass right to the curb.

 

Thou I did have a moment where I was forcing myself to work out. I took a step back after 2 weeks , the “omg I feel like shit” came rushing back. Fast.

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This is how I envision my body , at 2 am.

Brain : “ah guys….. are you up? I was thinking about the birth……”

Baby : ‘ swoosh, kick, swoosh’ 

Belly : ” ah guys, I need to get this gas out. ” 

body : ” time to flip! the left hip is aching !” 

bladder : ” time to pee! ” 

Brain : ” OMG bladder. We JUST went 20 minutes ago!”

Bladder : ” Don’t yell at me. I will pee right now!” 

belly : ” gurgle” 

Brain : ” Belly are you ok?” 

Belly : ” There is no room for a baby when we are dealing with a gas baby” 

Body : ” time to flip! right hip is killing me!” 

Headache  :” ah.. brain… I miss you. I am coming to visit, cool?”

Brain : ” Ah headache, I told you NOT in the middle of the………”

Headache : ” Hi Brain. ” 

Bladder : ” Time to PEE! ” 

Body  :” omg we just got comfy …… ” 

Bum : “ POOF ” 

Nose ” ugh .gross” 

I could go on. I won’t. you get the picture. Every night… same thing. pee 5 times, headache, wide awake, body aches, and gas pains… FFS the gas pains. I feel like someone just pumped air in me and it can not escape.

 

So I am cranky. I am pregnant. I have not reached glowing skin stage yet. I am hoping soon though. For everyone sake.

So other than being completely miserable, I do not have much to report.

 

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We have an ultrasound apt booked for Mid May and another midwife apt end of May.

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I am also counting down the days till my lil Irish family come to visit ❤ I get to hang with Daddies and my God-daughter ( surro babe) in June! The excitement is real.  Looking forward to spending time with them, in Canada, in nice weather. Both times they have been here, its been cold, snowy…. So this will be a very nice change!

 

So watching shows last night. 911 and some other Doc show.  2 births. 2 deaths. well… 1.. the other just magically had her heart restart…..

but I have decided Baby is not coming via c-section Or my va jay jay. Baby is gonna stay put.  Frig, one lady was ‘geriatric’ * eye roll*  They call me a geriatric pregnancy. I am over a certain age. So I am OLD.  * grumbles* They need to find a new word. To not make women feel like they are 80 giving birth. Seriously.

Glam-egancy  ( you know, kinda how some Grandmothers get called Glamma’s…. )

I mean my uterus is just as shiny and sparkly as the 20 year olds. Just saying.

I dunno, a word needs to be created to empower us over 35 year olds. ( or whatever insane age they label you at )

Power to our uterus’ & vagina’s.  

Hit me up with some new words. I’m gonna force every doctor, midwife and care practitioner to call me by my new glam- name. HAHA. … I am serious.

Well, That is all I got for now.

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#JustTheStork 

So long Vegas

We made it.

Well, let me be more clear, : We made it to 10 weeks.

We received our final e-mail from Vegas.

Final Email

What? Did you just read the most amazing news ever?

STOP PIO 1cc DAILY TODAY

Ah, OK! 

*insert happy dance here*

Guys, my butt is bruised. Which, sure is not a BIG deal. But i switched oils mid way, and the sesame oil needle is bigger than the other oil, and my little butt did not approve. At all.  I don’t have much cushion to begin with, ramming a thick needle is not the greatest thing, or feeling.

 

Man. I was hoping for that e-mail. HA It came 30 minutes before I had to inject.

THANK YOU very much!

So in other news, I have completely bailed on this whole blog thing the last month. My bad.

I got so stupidly ill. The occupational hazard of working daycare. 1 fever is all it takes to spread like the plague in a daycare setting. Now add in HOME daycare setting. EXPLOSION of GERMS.

1 kid. it only takes 1 runny nosed kid to cause complete craze to everyone.

I got hit. My kid was out of school for 5 days. My hubby got hit within hours of me. 2 adults, shaking, sweating, freezing, vomiting, coughing, ( remind you I am pregnant, that means no meds. ) I have never loved ipads and pancakes SO much in my life. My kid being 8.5 yrs old, and able to just .. survive. Seriously. Thank you IPADS and Easy food.

Not only did my family get taken down, one of my younger daycare kiddos got hit BAD. so bad, a hospital stay happened. And for damn near a week.

 

This virus took everyone as a prisoner.

So, add in 1 bad virus attack, Then our basement flooded, Then all day nausea hit me like a ton of bricks. FFS. Cause I needed THAT.  I just have not functioned like a human in a good 3 weeks. I do not remember much of the last 3 weeks, but sleeping on the couch and barely eating. I may have even lost 5 lbs in the whole process.

Anyways, What has been missed?

a few weeks of pregnancy, an ultrasound, a midwife apts…. the typical early stage of pregnancy stuff.

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I managed to get this one in. But I will try again as of next week. The leaking basement has moved my photo space.

But I did order myself some self-care. The bump box. How cute!!! I am excited to see what this months brings. The wait is killing me. Those little preggie pops. Kinda helped! Till my midwife saved my life and gave me the pills. Oh those magic little pills. OMG i owe my life to those sweet little guys.

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Naps. It’s a seriously thing. Some days I was up at 8 and in bed by 9pm.  Nap a few times on the weekend. Still felt like I was not existing.

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And my napping buddy? My crazy anxiety filled dog Baxter. This dog does NOT snuggle. He does not like to be touched unless it’s on his time, and only by his ears. NEVER touch his butt. EVER. But he is all over me like a toddler with a … well anything sugar related.

He is my belly protector. ❤

So Little bean was dancing up a storm Wednesday March 13th. Waving, moving, it was SO crazy to see. When she turned the screen I blurted out OMG it looks like a baby! Look at it move!” I think I was still expecting a weird shaped bug looking thing. At 10 weeks, i was not expecting baby form.

I think this baby has been nicknamed “baby bean” for now.

The tech let me take a video of the heartbeat for the Dads. This is rare. To find a tech that understands what it means to be a surrogacy pregnancy and the parents live far away and miss every experience. She had a big heart. I will miss this lady.

 

So this is where we are at right now.

Closing in on the first trimester!

With that being said, I need to thank a few people.

Surrogacy is so different from from carrying your own child. When its your own child, So many people are excited for you, congratulating you, asking to see ultrasound photos, gushing over you.

Surrogacy pregnancy is not always like that. Or, well it’s not for me.

I do not need a pat on the back for doing this. EVER.  it’s not about that.

But for the small amount of people that honestly gets excited for me, called and text and wished me congratulations and to wish the parents the same.  ❤ To those who send me a message and ask me ” how are you doing, this journey is so different from the first!” Thank you.  It really does mean a lot.  Pregnancy is hard. It should not matter if its mine or not. Pregnancy is pregnancy. Especially when you can’t even function due to illness, or you husband leaves the country.  To have someone message and ask how I am feeling, really means the world to me. First trimesters can be a kick in the face. HA

So thank you. Pregnancy can feel isolating and damn hard at times. Add in jabbing hormones into your already exploding hormone induced body. FML. Watch out!

If you know someone who is pregnant, as a surrogate or with their own bundle. Do me a favor. Pick up your phone and ask them how THEY are doing and if they need anything.  They might just need a hug, or even a hot tea and friendly face. ❤

To my followers, thanks for even finding me interesting enough to follow, to share with your social media platforms, by sharing my blog, its bringing surrogacy into the light. Maybe changing someones feelings towards it, maybe pushing someone to make the choice to BE a surrogate and to change the lives of someone else! You never know.

So thank you.

And to my surro sisters. No matter how close or far away, I can always count on you.  To vent to, to share news with, to get ideas, suggestions, information. Some of you I will never meet in person, which is crazy to think! But I thank you.

 

95 needles. To get to 10 weeks ❤

My butt is very happy today. HA

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As always, feel free to follow me on IG at just_the_stork or share this blog ❤

Much love, and till next time!

 

Just the stork ❤ 

Ultrasound 1 of 3

That’s right. I have 3 ultrasounds I have to get through from now till March …. sometime… in the middle… the day is drawing a blank… Listen, I am pregnant. Get off my back already! HA

Too soon to claim #BabyBrain ? Meh.

Anyways, The first one is the proof, that there is indeed, an embryo growing inside me.

Implantation proof. Just incase the Blood-work was just teasing us.

Can I just say how much I love the place that I go to?! Like the lady is amazing. She is chatty, friendly, gets excited FOR YOU. She was excited to see me come in and she goes ” Oh im so excited for you , and to see you are pregnant!” 

She asks me if I want my phone to take photos and videos. That’s right. You read that correct. BE ENVIOUS!!!!! Muahuahuahuah. 

She let me see the whole process the second the wand went on my belly. ….. and inside.

She showed me the sac, The baby, told me to hold my breath because she detected the heartbeat. Ps at 5 weeks 5 days we got a 102 BPM. WHOOHAW! Thats right you little spec, you show the world how strong you are!  Now I had to hold my breath to hear it, but it was there! And then she showed me it beating. Its so weird seeing something Be a dot, with a heartbeat! But i was grateful. She even told me how big it was measuring, and printed me not 1, not 2 but 4 photos!  I never want another tech again. Only her.

Hopefully she is there when I go back next Wednesday. Because next Wednesday is the actual fetal heartbeat ultrasound. So as long as this little spec keeps growing, I hope i can steal some videos of the heart beat for Daddies. I know how much they would love to hear it and see it! ❤

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That little white spot is the baby. Legit a spec. I feel like we should name it.  I will have to think of something.  Last Journey, Baby Acorn got her name easily. It just stuck. And became her way of definition. Now I call her Baby M . ❤  ( ps. have I told you her and her Daddies are visiting this June?! Yeah excited much?! I think so! )

So the nurse from Vegas confirmed everything the tech said. So Yuppers, my eggo ( not really ) is Preggo.

And….. Keep eating pills and stabbing yourself in the ass nightly. WEeeeeeeEEeeeeee. Eeee.e.

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So Today I am officially 6 weeks.  Man, That seems like NOTHING. lol But every week is an accomplishment when IVF is involved! So, another week down! WOOT!

So you know what that means… Weekly bump update, that is still really a med-bump , till I hit 12 weeks and can officially call it a bump pic .. pic. 

 

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Things you need to know :

  1. I can not nap enough to save my life. I nap in the day. I go to bed by 9pm. I am still a hot mess in the morning.
  2.  I would like to say pregnancy is to blame, but its pregnancy AND meds. Its like getting hit at both ends. It sucks. It’s like a double whammie.
  3. I do not have pregnancy glow. I have ‘STFU -matted rat-nest hair, my skin is clammy glow.  Its hot. 
  4. I still give off this intense scent. There are no words. This is all med related. It’s so gross. My pee stinks like … it made out with a medical laboratory and was swished around in a garbage cans mouth and spin out.      You are welcome. 
  5. I don’t want to eat meals. But then I do. But then I don’t want to cook. But I just want the food NOW, but it wont be ready NOW and then I get hangry and now I am cranky and yelling. Ugh hormones.

…. I mean, pregnancy is beautiful, and rainbows follow me ,and im glowing like a movie star.    Not buying it? I didn’t think so.

You know I write these things, Then I think how insane my clients must think I am when they read my updates, Or other surrogates… Who talks about these things?! Me. I do. The world needs to know.

Do you wanna know HOW excited The Dad’s are?! So excited 1 has 7…. 7 pregnancy apps on his phone! He ain’t missing out on ANY information. BHAHAHA I love it. 

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20190213_1330574676334966785786570.jpgPs. how sweet is that stork card?!

A pregnancy is something to celebrate.

So to all my peeps reading this who are pregnant.

I am SO FREAKIN’ excited for you! ❤ Pregnancy is not easy. It is a rollercoaster of emotions! To know you have people who care, makes it that much more easier to wanna share the good , the bad and the ugly with. ( like weird smells….. )

I am so thankful for the handful of people who reach out to me, get excited for me and my surro sisters. DAMN are they supportive! Its like having a pocket full of cheer just ready to explode like glitter when ever you need it. They are also there for you when you just need to let the emotions and feelings out in one big pile of verbal diarrhea.  I can not explain to you how amazing this group of ladies are.

Well, that is all for now. Thanks for popping in and reading. Thanks for sharing my blog and IG with your friends on social media ❤ It’s so appreciated! I love scrolling FB and seeing someone share my blog! and my IG ! It is exciting that people ACTUALLY wanna read my blubbering.

So on that note, This is how every night comes to a close for me.

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Needle in the butt area, kinda. It’s like a little over from the hip, in a squshie spot, that goes into the muscle. But the best part is having a nurse at Vegas who drew circles on me, and where she drew them, it was life changing. Because I was going much more left and was ALWAYS sore!!!!! not this journey. NO PAIN BABY!!!! Now of course its a tiny bit tender if I touch it the next day, or my hubby slaps it… but other than that, no problem!

Only like .. 5-6 more weeks of these, every single night and then my body can take over and do its own thing 🙂

 

Like always, feel free to share my blog , or my IG @ just_the_stork 

Much love, Me.

BETAS… and some more BETAS

So since I have pee’d on all the sticks. I had to go for blood work.  I have been holding off on this update till we got the 3rd set of BETAS in. Its the most ‘for sure’ we get till a ultrasound.

3 times. 

Because, When with VEGAS, leave nothing unaccounted for. HA ( seriously, I was used to a much more relaxed clinic with journey 1. lol)

 

So we Went at day 6.5 DPT. (Days Post Transfer)

then again at 9.5 DPT

Then AGAIN at 13.5 DPT

I say .5 because in Vegas I had my transfer mid afternoon. Which was like 5 pm my time. So when I do blood work, it’s literally 12 hours + off from my transfer time. So I am technically a half a day behind when blood is done. AM the only one who does that?! lol It would have been around 5:30ish pm my time of Transfer.

Ps.

Have you seen a med-bump before?

Its like the belly bump you get before an actually baby bump. HA

Its pretty serious this time. Im a little on the smaller size of life, so it hits me rather fast.

 

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Anyways… My 6.5 DPT BETAS were 75

9.5 DPT was 340

Then I had my 13.5 DPT BETAs. Usually I wake up the next day to my results on-line.

Only half of my results were posted. Ah….. WTF. No… this is not supposed to happen. I was having a mini freak out, because Friday night prior, I had some really intense cramping, and it kinda freaked me out. WIth IVF , cramping can be good. Sometimes.. not so much. I never experienced ANY cramping with journey 1. I just .. was tired. ALLL the damn time. Like i could nap 3 times a day and it still was not enough to get me through the first trimester. But no cramps, no spotting, no illness.

So the cramps, were, and still are.. not welcomed. lol

But im also told its my uterus stretching, It has to make room. So I guess i will allow some of it.

anyways, Fast forward to mid afternoon, the day after my blood was drawn. I have no checked Lifelabs results, online, only a million times by now. I even called them.

 

” well they are still showing pending on my end, so they must still be testing” She says on the phone.

My other results were posted at 1am. So it’s now 2pm the next day and im like … BUT WHY!!!!! 

So by 5 pm, I’m like .. they are clearly not coming. I guess we wait till morning, and I call back for them to check into it.

Then, 6 pm rolls around.. I am at the mall, eating dinner with my son and im waiting for him to finish his sub( with all the gross olives)

I log in, again, for the millionth time now.

POOF! RESULTS!!!! 

I went from 340 to 2157! geesh.

So, as of right now, i AM pregnant.

But of course , we have an ultrasound to confimr implantation on Monday ( What? yea i know .. weird. ) Then ANOTHER in a little over a week to hopefully get that heartbeat we are looking for. THEN in March, as long as we safely pass the first 2 ultrasounds, we go for a another one mid March.

I know, that is ALOT of ultrsounds.

SOOOO

As of TODAY, according to the IVF online tracker, i AM 5 weeks pregnant today.

Still very new, but very cool, I mean , you are 2.5 weeks pregnant at time of transfer. CRAZY!

So , I have some very eager people waiting on my “bump” photos I do every week.

I try not to make then just a bump in the mirror. I try to make it according to how im feeling, what I am experience the week of the bump. I started it last journey, to bring some humour to the dads waiting. Thought it would get a good little giggle. And then it just continued into .. every week.

So what started last week, I can not fit into 90% of my pants because everything I own is.. fitted and size small. I mean, sure SOME of my leggings are Medium but i have about 4 i can wear, and still are now leaving marks on my belly, and upsetting my belly if i am in them too long.

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So that is my update! It’s a pretty exciting one right now!

Now, fingers crossed for us, that things keep going good, this lil em-baby wants to stick and make themselves at home and stay with me for the long haul till its time to meet their Daddies 🙂 We will take all the positive vibes you got!

So now that things are well on their way, Why not show some love, and follow me on

IG _/Just_the_stork

 OR share this Blog post on social media ❤ I would love for you to share with your peeps!

Thanks for following, and let this journey get started!

Peeing on sticks like it’s my job!

So if you have been following along, I went to Vegas last Sunday Jan 20th for my transfer on Jan 21st.

I arrived home Thursday late morning from my night flight.

Of course, I peed on a stick with in an hour of being home. How can you not?! Negative. Clearly. lol I was not even 3 days post transfer. HAHA So with an almost 3 pm transfer in Vegas it was technically a 6 pm my time transfer.

So what do I do? I wake up Friday morning and pee on another stick.  I am technically 3.5 days. BOOM. Freakishly-light-phone can’t pick up the line on the phone camera -no one is gonna believe me I can’t tell my IPS yet, because they can’t see the line, I might be wishing for lines that are not even there….red line. 20190125_0713021797862628473693902.jpg

I try to send it anyways. 1 person says they see it. My kid says he see’s it, so It’s offical, I am not crazy. But I now have to wait till that night, to try again, and maybe it will be a little more visible.  Can you see it? Even by sending it, the quality goes down in the pic. So to the average person, it’s just a 1 lined negative test. BUT ITS NOT! lol

So…. of  course, I take a dollar store test ( shout out to my hubby for grabbing me a million on his way home from work! ) I was not expecting anything. They are from the dollar store .But so much cheaper!!!

Again, almost impossible to see. You have to be a secret agent to see the dame thing. Or come look at in person. so you will just have to take my word for it.

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Yea, you are looking at sticks I PEED ON. Enjoy.

So, once again…. go to bed. Now we are saturday morning. I am 4.5 days.

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THERE IT IS! so basically, you are seeing for the first, what I have seen for a little while now. lol. Finally its strong enough to pick up on camera. lol Excited?! DAMN RIGHT.

But , still not ready to tell my IPS. I know, how can I keep this secret?! Easily . I had to run off to Hockey because my kid had an out-of-town game in the morning. I had not even put on my glasses let alone take the sleep chunks outta my eyes before I peed on this stick. Priorities. Geessh.

So I tell the guys that I am off to hockey, but will pee when I get home. I had a plan. I did not want to just send a stick I peed all over to them in a message. How impersonal can i be?! I need to do things in a special way. It’s a BIG DEAL! It is there very first pee stick! lol

So I had shirts made a month ago, in hopes… we were gonna eventually end up at this point.

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Needles to say it took them a few minutes to reply back. Who knows what was going on over there. lol But when I got a message, you can imagine the excitement and emotional status of 2 men getting this news.

Now of course, we still have to reach another IVF milestone. Blood-work. We need to confirm BETAS. So this morning, I pulled my ass out of bed before 6 am, to drive to Lifelabs, to wait till 7 when the door opens, to wait till 7:30am to actually get blood drawn. Now we have to wait for results to be posted, and they way they are going this year with results, it takes F O R E V E R. And by forever, i mean 24 hours. Which is odd, because last journey, I got my results before I ever went to bed. So this is torture.

THEN, I have to do it all over again Thursday, and wait till Friday for my results to see if they have jumped in numbers like expected to be CONFIRMED pregnant. It’s a big process.

So 1 milestone at a time. Cross your cross-ables for us. WE want this to go as planned. I mean Vegas is cool, but I rather not do this all over again. I would just like to go on and get a big ol belly, with a healthy baby bouncing around till Its time for her/him to meet their parents. 🙂

So naturally, I pee again this morning before blood work. I am technically 6.5 days as i pee on this little guy. The goal is to watch the line get darker, As a surrogate, this is our only go to , watch the line darken. It gives a small dash of hope that… everything is gonna be ok. We have things to worry about , like every pregnancy like chemicals, loss, anything. Pregnancy is always so …. on its own terms. You NEVER have a guarantee that things are going to be PERFECT. You just put all your eggs in one basket ( no pun intended lol) and take 1 day at a time.

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So, Now I have become a Pee stick addict. They should have a support group for surrogates and peeing on sticks. Some pee every few hours to see a line darken. True story. Its exciting when your bladder is full and you have a bathroom stash of pregnancy test. lol

 

These are only 3. Only because they are the good ones. But trust me, Many more have been used ,and tossed. lol

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That IS TOTALLY My pee dribbles. BHAHA

So the joys of IVF comes with taking pills 3 times a day and stabbing yourself in the ass till you reach the safe viable stage where you body can officially take over on its own at 12 weeks pregnant. So right now, the needles are not …… terrible. But trust me, after a few weeks of stabbing over , and over .. in the same location… your ass gets hard, and lumpy . bruised, not attractive at all. Not the kind of lump growth you want. You want it in the front where your chest is. … well some of us do….. lol

But, I mean… I am over here, stabbing myself in my upper butt… and its never easy to stab a long needle in your own body. I dunno how the surrogates, or anyone doing IVF that has to do it, can just …. BAM… stab full-blown. I go slow. And I swear i can feel it go through every layer of skin. lol It does not hurt, it just … is weird, the resistance of the needle to my skin, muscle.. whatever the hell its stabbing. Then the oil is so damn thick… it’s a nice slow process. So, if all goes well, i have weeeeeeekkkkkks left of stabbing. *eye roll* 

Alost with this transfer I have been blessed with cramps. Ugh. ALL the time. They say it’s a good sign,… implantation. All I feel is a little embryo digging a hole in me. That’s how I envision it anyways.

Now with these meds, comes the med-induced belly bump. Where you already look pregnant, but your barely pregnant because the em-baby is legit .. the size of a chia seed. It has all the damn room to grown, but my body is all dramatic and is going ” OMG WE ARE PREGNANT! BLOAT THE GUTS! MAKE ROOM! WE HAVE A BABY!!! CUSHION PEOPLE!WE NEED MORE CUSHION. “ Or that’s how I think its going down anyways.

 

I choked on a pill last friday. We have to take these blue pills 2 times a day for 5 days to fight off intended infection after transfer. I don’t do pills well. I was working. I choked. I vomited. The little girl in care lectured me on getting sick. Then blamed her Grammy, because her Grammy got sick, who in turn got her Grampy sick, who clearly …. got me sick. HA #kids.

But then I had this burning hole in my throat from where the pill just … hung out. Forever. It was stupid.

Now lets move on to some really fun medication facts. What they do to your lady bits.

They make you smell . That’s what they do! It’s just … inconsiderate and rude. I am not talking like … dirty. No .. I smell like a hospital down there. A medicated vagina. WTH.

There is no other way to describe it.

1 minute you are leaking out a sticky goooo for days on end getting your lining all thick and fluffy… then you are smelling like you walked into a hospital. Or a pill. You know how some pills have a scent? Am I crazy? They totally do. That’s my lady bits. Petunia smells like a pill. #FACTS Listen, you came here to follow my journey, i am not here to sugar coat this and make it seem like every stage is full of glitter. ( No i will just leave  that for my daycare kids to throw all over lol) Its full of ups and downs and smells and weird things. So , you know … you have been warned.

Mood swings? HELLO! I am rage-y 1 minute, emotional the next tossed in with a little bit of ‘ I could fuck you up right now‘ if you even so much as give me the side eye.

All these Hormones and I can’t even handle my own face some days. It is BRUTAL. I try to avoid people when I am feeling this way. I just could not be bothered. Dont message. Don’t call, Just know I am over here existing, ill call you when I adjust. Ha. But my husband does not get this option. Nor is it even his baby where he can be like ” its ok babe” It’s not. But do you think I care that you have no control over a  fart smelling? That my Kid just talked back to me, that someone said ” I am hungry after I JUST sat down? COME ON! 

I am queen of snappy comments right now. Things I would let go, I don’t. lol I mean part of me is totally ok with it. You know how you are always wishing you could say NO more to people? Yea I am over here like Oprah. ” YOU GET A NO! YOU GET A NO, … YOU GET A NO TOO!” Pft. Sorry. Not sorry. HA

Now if you know me personally, don’t go talking about my medicated hospital va jay jay in public. Read it. Let it go. Move on. LOL

Well, I will leave you on that note.

Send me all your high good BETA number wishes this way. Lets hope this little chia seed wants to stick around and grow 🙂 I mean , I think I am offering a pretty awesome staging house for the next 8+ months. But .. that’s just me. 🙂

 

Don’t forget to follow me on IG

just_the_stork_

And if you do find any of this, at all interesting, or want to support the surrogacy world, or wanna be cool and give me a shout out in a shared post on social media, that would be cool too. #GetMoreReaders ❤ 

 

Transfer

I flew from Canada to Vegas Sunday Jan 20th. It is not easy with my job, to take off 4 days. I run a daycare. Its hard on me. Its hard on my clients. It all around sucks. But I made it. They are awesome, and I have the coolest little kids I get to work with everyday. Thou, walking back in today, I had my ear talked RIGHT off. lol One needed to make up for lost time with me. I knew her agenda for the weekend, before her boots were off her feet. lol

I arrived LATE Sunday. The flight was delayed a bit. Which put me in the hotel at almost 12am. But first I need to tell you about my flight.

  1. A gentle man was being moved seats. He stops to move his bag from 1 compartment, to take with him, to his new space. Que Flight attendant ” ah, do you really need to take that? ok. you’re doing it. great. ” The sass that came out of this man, was EPIC. I kinda found it hilarious, with his demeanor.
  2. Out of the same compartment falls a white square. Guy to the right picks it up… looks at it, flips it over, then the light bulb goes off. ( it’s a pad) and without skipping a beat, looks back at us and goes ” Gonna need that later” with a smug face. I was crying I was laughing so hard.

Anyways…..

I had to get up for 6:30am. I woke at 5:30am . ( whyyyyyyyyy lol)

I had to go to the fertility clinic to get blood work, before my transfer later that day.

I had some time to once again, wander Vegas before Transfer. Once transfer happened I was told I would be expected to be on bedrest for 48 hours. That left half a day after to finish touring Vegas in reality, with a 12am flight out Wednesday.

CFC sends you baby dust in you’re welcome box as a surrogate. So I took my baby dust and added it to my locket with stork charm. Wishful thinking

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Off I go to Transfer. You have to drink 16oz of water.

BHAHAH.. who In the right mind can do that before an ultrasound?! seriously, do you have a stomach made up of 90% bladder room?! Maybe its just me. I had to focus on getting off the chair… to walk to the transfer room, so I would not have pee running down my leg.

I even told the nurses AND doctor, my goal is to not NOT pee on him.

Photo of my IPs case worker, Romain and me pre transfer.

Photo credit shout out to Romain.

ha. He clearly makes the silly blue hats looks better than I.

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I was actually sweating, trying not to let pee out while laying on the table. My bladder was the fullest I think i have ever had it. It was TOO much water for my body. I think at one point I may have had even a tiny bit leak out. Thats how full I was. Add in a nurse PUSHING on my stomach with the ultrasound wand, and the vagina clamp we all HATE so much prying my insides WIDE open so the Doc can see where he is going.

FML.

I was breathing like i was in early labour. I nearly told them to get out of my insides, it became that painful. What was to be a 2 minute process, seemed like 10.

But Courtney, thats not really a long time….

Yea again ,let me remind you : Maxed out bladder. ( they even commented on how big it was on the screen. awesome.) ultrasound PUSHING not sitting.. PUSHING on me, and clamp of hell with a doc digging around in there….. legit…i felt it near my back.

Sooo.. in reality, in Transfer world, 10 minutes is FOREVER. K? FOREVER.

Now I have never met the Doctor who was doing the procedure.

He came in on a scooter guys! The entrance through the door was amazing. I laughed.. and then stopped. I would have peed.

He had an injury, it was his last day with his little knee scooter.

He also just jumps right in, then peeks out and introduces himself. I am so glad my IPS case worker, Romain was there to capture this PRICELESS photo. Handshake, with my lady bits in his face. AH-MAZING.

It’s the little things that make a great transfer. This was one of those moments.

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Below Is the actual Transfer video. Video credit from my phone goes to my Travel companion.

I am posting this because no names are said, or seen. Excluding mine on the screen. Because, well…. its my insides. lol If you watch you can see a line slowly show … that’s the tube thingy they use( do you like my medical terms?! yeah you do. ) Then a little white spec is left. THAT’S The em-baby! Say HI to the Em-baby! LOL

Pretty cool eh? You just watched me get pregnant. We are THERE now in our blog relationship. 🙂 You are welcome.

You can send flowers and chocolates . LOL

so, now … the nurse hands me a bed pan to pee in. While laying down.

I. Can’t. Pee. I have to focus on peeing. It took me a good 3-5 minutes to let the tiniest of tinkled out in the pan. I think i was holding it for so long, so tightly, and then scared i would pee all over the bed…. I just could not do it. The nurse left the room to give me some privacy to try to pee. LOL

I was not allowed up for, i think 15 min or so. I had a timer on my bed. I peed in 2 bed pans. Then when i was allowed up . I peeed in the toilet. lol SLOWEST PEE EVER. I had no control over my own bladder. It was on its own terms. Ha

Here is what Em-Baby looks like! If this pregnancy is viable and transfer was successful… this will be babies FIRST photo. So crazy. lol

Embryo

5 day old embryo

So now I am NOT on bed rest. I am on house arrest as the Doctor called it.

Which means I AM allowed to walk around. lol 15 min up. 45 min down.

So you can move from place to place in 15 min in Vegas. It’s not busy in January. It was cold. lol Sure it was 11 degrees, but 11 degrees in Vegas with winds, was not lovely. People were in jackets, hats, mittens, boots. No shorts were worn. Pools were closed down in most hotels. ( unless you are at the Bellagio and are fancy fancy…… but no one was in the pool. it was just there to look at. lol )

It was so chilly, Vegas had street heaters.

Last time i went they were blowing water mist at you. This time, heat. Ps. I was shivering in this photo. I did not bring my heavy sweater out with me. I even bought a pull over sweater to keep me warm.

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This was the big flamingo at the hotel I stayed at. The flamingo hotel & Casino.

Have I told you how much i LOVE flamingos?! I do. So when Finance booked me this hotel, I was a weeeee bit excited. I seen the flamingos last time, but I can never get enough of them. So what do you do when you wake up in Vegas? You go visit the flamingos. It was right by our elevator. SO FRIGGIN AWESOME.

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the latest I stayed up was 9:30pm.

by about 6pm we were in bed watching tv.

This is what hotel rest looks like and my view. It was ok. 🙂 I mean.. there WAS mountains.

Here is some of the touring around I squeezed in while there. I had time to tour the mall again there the day I was leaving. I had 13 hours to kill. Yes … it was so chilly i wore my hat. lol 99% of this trip, i already did Last time I went. So it was just a re-do trip with a lot more drinking hot drinks and lying around. I seen everything last time. But You still take photos, because YOU are THERE.

The only thing I did not see, was a free show they put on while we were eating one day.

Next time I go to Vegas, I wanna rent a car. See the Sign, the canyon, maybe have a few drinks… clearly this will be in a few years. Just do 3 days there. I will drag my husband with me.

The show girls are … EVERYWHERE. walk 2 min and you are faced with new ones. lol

The mall is beautiful. At Caesars palace. Its massive. And the Bellagio had the Year of the Pig display on. It was a lovely little sight . And the free water fall show at the Belagio is always a must. It’s so captivating. Every 15 min they put on a new show, to a new song. You can sit there FOREVER and just watch. Its breath-taking. There is so much FREE to do in Vegas.

I would like it noted. I am NOT the one singing in this. lol

The first day we arrived , we hit up the M&M shop and Coca Cola shop on the strip. ( I had done this last time too, But this time I paid a few bucks for photos )

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This guy was hella fun. He bit your head. and pawed your shoulder. lol His face is priceless. I have never seen a guy in costume be so animated. It was Amazing.

Well, Today as I type this, I am not even 4 days transfer. I am actually 4 days post transfer as of almost 6 pm my time. lol I transferred Monday at around 3 pm -ish Vegas time ( 6 pm my time) Maybe a little prior by the time it was planted. So testing is weird. Do i count today as day 4? do i count as tomorrow as day 4? the time change is messing with my need to pee on sticks prior to Mondays first blood test , to test BETA results.

Of course, lifelabs will take 24 hours to get me results so I have to wait till Tuesday morning to see what my first numbers are sitting at. IF I am preggo.
So , send me a million sticky vibes, good number vibes, even pee test line vibes. lol

Don’t forget to follow me on IG ! find me at just_the_stork_

I will update you with whatever news is to follow later next week! Again… All the good vibes! 😀

Vegas is in the near future!

So It has been a while since my last update.

I am recently on attempt number 2 for journey 2. As you know, my last month transfer was canceled suddenly. The doctors thought they ‘seen something’ , blah blah blah. Best to caution on the side of safe.

So I have officially gone for way too much blood work, and 2 ultrasounds this month. You know, the kind where they hand you the BIG wand, and awkwardly ask you to insert it yourself, then you hand it over to them, to twist it, turn it and stab you with it… in your insides. Yea. Then the amount of lube they use, its dripping down your leg, all over the paper bed you just laid on ( if you lay on the paper by your head, and the tech lady tries to have a conversation with you, and all you hear is paper moving in your ear, and your saying ” sorry what was that? ” a million times. Then it goes quiet. Did it just go quiet because the conversation got annoying or she sees something? Great. Now im going to worry for the next 12 hours. AWESOME. just AWESOME. Stupid paper bed. ), and you are dealing with it for the next 24 hours. Gross.  Too much of a visual? too bad. If you have lady bits, you have had this happen in your life.

Great news though. News that … I swear, myself and my IPS were up worrying about, waiting for confirmation on my results from yesterday.

My testing was at 7am for blood work, then 10 am ultra sound out-of-town.

Finally around 7:30 pm, we got some amazing news.

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  1. I passed my second ultrasound this time, with flying colours. BOOM! 
  2. My transfer date is moved up by 1 day. Because my lining was so lovely. Fluffy. Perfection. Ready to take on an embryo….. you get the picture.

Ps. wanna know what a bedazzled fluffy lining looks like? yea you do. Come enjoy the blob with me :

 

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It looks like a big sperm.

Last ultrasound looked like a penis. Clearly that was NOT ok.  This one looks like sperm. Seriously. This is better than staring at clouds seeing what you can make of them! HA 

 

So.. This is the amazing news. Transfer is set for next week. Of course, as long as my blood work Friday comes back in great condition.

But lets talk about some of the meds I am on.

I have these massive patches I have to put on, and then change after every 3rd day. I had patches last month too, but they were like … 10xs smaller. Seriously. So the last month patches came off with no issue. They left that silly residue on my skin, but … nothing a little soap and water can take care of. ( or Doterra lemon oil! )

These.

Oh these ones…. no no no.…. It was like peeling off a layer of skin. These are SO BIG... they took off the reside from the small ones. Cleaned my skin! Baby smooth! I swear, when I have to take them off today, and change them… I might cry a little. That or a layer of skin will come off. I guess we will soon find out.

Look at these bad boys!! 20190113_0822221755119816990478232.jpg

Huge. They take up my whole bottom half of my stomach. Then I have to also inject Lupron in my belly too every night. FFS. lol

SO tonight I get to start stabbing my ass. Ugh. These needles are the WORST. I am not looking forward to them at all. The only good thing, Is i put on my big girl panties and can now officially do them myself. I don’t have a lot of padding in the back-end, so it’s not super easy to twist around and poke myself while not shaking … but you know … with practice it will come easy… till my arse gets rock hard from injections. lol

 

So. Hopefully I will be on a plane next week on my way to Vegas to get pregnant!

Send me all the positive vibes for the next step!

Follow me on IG ( link below ) to see updates, and posts and pictures of VEGAS . If I go. …..I will go. Totally am going … Positive thoughts. Blood work is gonna come back shiny and perfect too. #LetsDoThis ! 

IG just the stork

 

 

Emotional wreckage

The last few weeks have been an emotional fucker-y. Sorry about that. There is NO other word to explain the emotional rollercoaster I /We have been on.

I started Meds. Injecting Lupron in my belly, 1 time a day. Not as terrible as I was expecting. Went rather smooth. Also started patches and Estrace pills, ( 2 pills 3 times a day) Oooooo These little pills. They mess with your body. The first night I did not sleep. All the pile of meds, all at once OHMYGAWD.  I sweated through a t-shirt. Slept on the couch.. well… not so much slept.. i sat up and rocked like i was bat shit crazy. I was in so much pain. Legit.. I think my own uterus was like ” fuck this shit, we out. “

Rough night to say the least.

 

Things slowed down after that first night. Meds settled in but I was hormonal. My kid was tapping his spoon on the edge of his bowl… my brain went TICK! Snapped. I am not one to get emotional, But have my moods completely all over the map. YUP. All the hubby had to do was give me the side- eye the wrong way… LOOSE MY MIND. Don’t get me started on him coming back after being gone for a few months, and me starting meds and his personal items ALL OVER MY DAMN HOUSE. ugh. That alone gave me the sweats.

I Had to stock up on condoms. ( bahahah) I know. Why the hell am I on birth control AND have my tubes tied AND using condoms. 3x protection baby! Hubby aint making no babies in this body! LMAO

That’s right. I went to the pharmacy and picked up condoms AND pee sticks. BHAHA oh the confusion.

 

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Now lets take a break from all the stabbing myself and weird combo purchases.

My God-Daughter, First Surro baby turned 1!!! Dec 5th was her 1st birthday!

I am in awe, that 1 whole year has passed already. Time flies when you are not changing diapers and waking for feedings. HA

I sent her some new little shirts, a little Christmas tree bling and a Scenty winnie the pooh! She has a Pooh bear she takes everywhere that is smaller, so I hope the love for this one follows as she grows a little. I also sent her a Book with her name for Christmas. A book all about her. The best part.. her name has mermaid meaning.. and one of the letters in the book is about meeting a mermaid.  It was just meant to be.

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A little update in my life. Hubby and I had to do that dress-up thing for his Work Christmas Party. Try going to an event at night on Estrace.. HELLO SLEEPY TIME. I had zero energy. I could have pulled up a  corner of the room and passed out. I would have been 100% ok with that. I am ready for bed my 8:30pm every night. Its like these pills are vampires sucking the energy right out of me! But I look good doing it! HAHA

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I also was part of a surro christmas exchange. We got a name drawn and to purchase for.

My surrogate is someone I know via social media, But we do not live in the same town. I feel like i know her pretty well thou. LOL #FriendsOnSocialMedia we are connected through this little life of surrogacy. Always.

So I had to send her something that was functional, sentimental and useful.

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The BEST mug. And lets face it, we all need calm and sleep in our lives. ( unless you are on IVF pills, those babies got you covered for sleep) So a little essential oil from Doterra ( only the best!) and a bracelet.  I am happy it arrived before christmas with the postal strike we have lol .

Now back to the rollercoaster of emotions. 

I have had to go for 2 ultrasounds and blood work, just outside of town. So that means some 5 am wake ups to go stand in line for 6:30 am while they finally open at 7am. Try booking through lifelabs online. BHAHAHAHAHAHAH nope. My blood work had to be done by 8am in the morning. Time was everything.

SO I had an ultrasound yesterday. I had to snap a pic and send to my nurse so it was clear. Well .. clear compared to a faxed image. lol

This is where the rollercoaster beings.

First. :screenshot_20181211-142834_gmail7688688487242555980.jpg

Hell yes it is! I was feeling AMAZING. excited to get the real results in to find out how fluffy my lining was.

Then…..

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Wait.. what?! … What just happened. How do we go from looking good to an area of concern? DAMN IT. now i am googling EVERYTHING. 

OMG. I AM GONNA DIE. ok not really.. but … this is why they say never go to google for answers. The outcome is always ” you die” . (Thanks friend who googled that for me. lol )

Then :

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What. Just. Happened.

Happy, confused, to WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. 

So. Long story short. No December Transfer. Which REALLY sucks. I had the best way of telling the soon to be Dad’s that they were potentially going to BE Dads. Oh well.

Hopefully I am ok. This is just a silly IVF bump in the road and we will be back on track for attempt 2 for January. 2019 will be the year.

But seriously.. let’s get our hands on those damn results.

But to end this sad story on a high note…

I hope you have an amazing sense of humor.

Because after carefully looking at the screen shot from my ultrasound. *Thanks Daycare Mom for being awesome and pointing out the best thing ever*

Guys. My insides have a hand holding a penis.

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COME ON . you know you see it too. There is NO unseeing it now.

I hope this made you giggle. It made me giggle. something has to give, it was shitty news, this was perfect timing. 🙂

So at the end of the day.. yes we got some not so great news. Yes i have a funny scan photo, that  I can not stop looking at AND when the guys come to visit in December…. WE can ALL have a drink together.

 

Now excuse me while I go check my email a zillion times waiting for my results. Wish me luck.

 

 

Don’t forget to follow me on IG! Just_the_strok 🙂 I will follow you back 🙂

 

 

The time has arrived

Ok… not really, but … kinda….

The start of Surrogacy journey 2 has begun.

I was up as the ass-crack-of-dawn Monday Nov 19th to go for blood work at 7am.

I arrived at 7am on the dot. I was 10th in line. With over 30 min wait. CRAZY.

I mean, I was legit the only one under the age of 60 waiting for blood work. Why do people of that age need to be there THAT early in the morning? They have all damn day! I don’t! lol I had to rush back for work, as I was late to start. lol

People of over 60 yrs needing blood work. Calm down. Enjoy that second coffee. It’s good for the soul. lol

 

My view was pretty exciting too….20181119_0739244702414433642405595.jpg

Now, if you are in Canada, you know if you go to Lifelabs, you wait forever to get results. This is annoying. I mean the results I was waiting for, I could not understand even in googled them, but when the time comes to confirm pregnancy… you best bet i will be checking every 5 minutes, knowing full well… it wont show up till 24 hours later. lol The wait is enough to kill ya.

 

Anyways, I had a crap ton of meds delivered to my door last week. My counter looked like I was starting my own series of Weeds. I look like a drug dealer right now. So what do you do with a pile of meds….( and PS this is not even all of it. I will be coming home with more after transfer from Vegas ) img_20181116_183244_6811169526733874964982.jpg

 

This is WAY more than what I was required to do with Journey 1. I have patches, and extra needles, and big horse pills….

Guys… When I went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription of Lupron ( it needs to be cold, so they could not mail it)  The pharmacist was beyond worried for my life.

” Courtney can you check the dosage from your doctor when you get home. it seems like a lot”

I awkwardly show him my required dosage.

” Do you know this is used in Cancer treatment?”

Well way to freak me the hell out,…. strange dude behind the counter.

me. ” ah. … that’s fun to learn.” Seriously.. what are you to say to that?!

 

I leave.

pharmacist calls me back.

” Courtney,  I don’t know about this. I think you should double-check. I am going to just make a note on the file here. That I am concerned”

Ok. Did I just get … like RED FLAGGED by my local pharmacy?!

Am I gonna die from 20 units of Lupron, for 3 weeks?!

I feel this is stressing me out. I May have poured a glass of wine. I pondered life.. at 37 yrs of age. I mean.. its been good. I had  good life. Its fine. I am fine. *insert cold sweats*

 

The nurse emails me back.

Its fine. Everything fine. I will survive lupron. Carry on.

 

I have to go back to pick up a refill after I start this new med On sunday.

I hope it’s a different pharmacist. lol

 

My new med that starts Sunday. Ugh.

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So now that I have this crazy schedule to follow … I had to feel somewhat organized.

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I have so many more blood work apts, Ultra sounds out-of-town, start meds, stop meds… I needed a schedule. HA

I also dumped my meds in the biggest tackle box. I don’t even fish. It was for crafting. The crafting supplies are dumped in a container now. I need a smaller one. Its … HUGE. Like .. sitting on my floor, in a corner… huge.

“Courtney whats in the tackle box?”

me. Pft. needles. Don’t everyone keep needles in tackle box?……..”

So we have a tentative transfer date.

December 20th. at 12:30pm

EXCITING. 

now, be hopefully everything else follows through with blood work, stabbing, ultra sounds to get us to this 1 month date. So much preparation for a little em-baby!

 

The fun thing, is messaging the DAds-to-Be and googling what meds are used for. And Freaking each other out. HA

I mean, the birth control I am on right now ( ps. I have not been on BC in YEARS) Is making my skin act out like a toddler who just had a sucker taken away from them.

It’s a hot mess. I feel like im 15. Only this time… With fine lines.

THANKS MEDS. I needed that. I am gonna live the next few months in a snap-chat filter. You know where to find me. lol

So, The reality is…. If all goes as planned… When I have 2 very special visitors this December 26th from France, I might have some amazing news for them.

So you know … send me all your good vibes for the next month.

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See what I did there… Snapchat filter with med box. HA.. ha… haaa.

 

Till the next update… keep your everything crossed for me!

I will be spending the next few days mentally prepping to stab myself. 😀